Murderous Seconds
by Dr FooFoo
Summary: Ten more short stories with a murderous theme. [JustinRichard]
1. Delirium

Murderous Seconds  
By Dr FooFoo

Part One : Delirium

==  
I wonder where we're all going  
I'm homesick for your tribal knowing  
Wonder why the wind keeps blowing  
You through my mind  
- Crystal Baller [Third Eye Blind]  
==

Richard's easy because he has a one-track mind... But he's hard because he can make that track seem like something completely different. He pulls me in like that; drags me down. He's done it so many times, but I still purposely fall for it... Fall for him.

I'm overcome with feeling for him; a feeling I can't describe or name. I'd like to think it's love but I've never loved anyone besides him so I don't know what it's like. But still, I'd like to think... And I'd like to think he feels the same way towards me. I've seen it in his eyes a few times... Like that time I told him to be patient when he wanted to rush the murder. I think I saw something in his expression then... Or that time he had me pressed up against my bedroom wall... He was so jealous and he couldn't hide it.

Lisa... She was my only friend besides Richard. I got upset when he used her just for the chance to be the only one I think about. He said he did it because _she_ was using _me_... I don't know anymore. I'm sure Richard's lied to me before to get me to do things. He's just like that. I don't mind that anymore though; I've gotten over it, I think, because I know that for every lie he tells me, he does at least ten things that reconfirm to me the fact that I love him.

I think he's lonely. I think that's why he tries so hard to be noticed and to draw attention to himself. I give him as much attention as I can, but he always wants more. Sometimes I wonder if he's just using me, but then he does something like leave me a mysteriously romantic note in my locker or on my desk and I realize I don't care because I love him.

I just wish he loved me back.


	2. Intoxication

Murderous Seconds  
By Dr FooFoo

Part Two : Intoxication

==  
Although I'm really quite fond of you  
My best intentions never turn out right  
I'd rather sleep with myself  
Tonight  
- Sleep With Myself [Prozzak]  
==

Justin ascended the stairs two at a time and walked slowly into his room. He was tired after spending the evening at the library and he was planning on relaxing and listening to some music.

Then he noticed Richard.

Richard noticed him too, but did't move from his stretched out position on Justin's bed. He did uncross his legs, though, and stared at Justin. "Hello Justin, how you doin'?" he asked casually, toying with the ring on his thumb. Justin got over his shock within a couple moments, then took a few tentative steps towards his bed.

"What... what are you doing here?" he asked shyly, dropping his keys on the bedside table beside the lamp. He was in the middle of shedding his jacket when Richard rolled off the bed and pounced him, shoving him back and against the wall. His hands automatically flew to Justin's neck and Justin made a small choking noise.

"You stood me up for that slut?" Richard demanded, nostrils flaring. Justin looked confused for a few moments, then seemed to understand and frowned.

"Lisa?" he asked, despite the fact that Lisa was the only person Richard could have been talking about. The second part of Richard's question hit Justin and he mumbled, "She's not a slut..."

Richard snorted quietly and disregarded Justin's ignorance. "Did you tell her about us?" His nostrils flared again and his eyes widened a little.

Justin tried to give Richard a _look_, but it was rather difficult in their current position. "Of course not..." he mumbled, and coughed a little when Richard tightened his grip. "Of _course_ not!" he said, louder.

Richard stared at Justin for a few moments, then, without thinking, he blurted, "Did you fuck her?" He regreted saying it right after it was out of his mouth, because he knew it would make Justin suspicious, but it just sort of... came out. Justin blushed and looked away, avoiding Richard's piercing gaze.

"I was helping her with her Physics..." he mumbled, annoyed as to why Richard would even care, Richard tightened his grip again and pressed Justin into the wall.

"You fucked her and I saw you fuck her..." he whispered harshly, sounding way too jealous to be even close to a platonic 'you ditched me for some slutty girl' best friend thing.

Justin struggled slightly, but not too hard because he knew Richard wouldn't let up until he was good an ready. He managed, however, to choke out, "We... kissed."

Richard let up on the choking a little, but didn't let Justin down quite yet. "You kissed...?" he asked, almost amused. The mention of kissing drew his attention to Justin's lips, though, and he started to get distracted.

Justin tried to nod, but failed because of Richard's hands. "That's all, I swear..." he mumbled, still avoiding Richard's eyes. When Richard didn't say anything for a few moments, though, Justin glanced up at him. The second their eyes met, Richard leaned forward and brushed his lips lightly against Justin's, asking permission in his own subtle way. Justin couldn't stop himself, and tilted his head slightly, crushing his lips against Richard's.

Richard took that quiet submission and ran with it. The moment Justin kissed him back, he dropped his hands from the poor boy's neck and wrapped them around his shoulders. He roughly kissed him, pressing his tongue into Justin's mouth without waiting for permission.

Justin melted against the wall and put his hands lightly on Richard's back, unconsciously encouraging him. Richard was glad to be urged on, and rubbed subtly on Justin's leg. Justin whimpered quietly and tried to pull Richard closer.

"Justin..." Richard murmured, breaking their steamy liplock to kiss roughly down Justin's neck. "Justin, Justin..." He'd completely forgotten about everything. About Lisa, about the tape, about the murder. Everything but Justin. Justin was all that mattered.

Justin shivered a little, then snapped to consciousness and realized exactly what he was doing. Not a good idea! Not part of the plan! He moved his hands around to his chest to push lightly at Richard. "Richard..." he murmured quietly, as much as he didn't want to. "Get off... please?"

But Richard didn't want to stop and just kept pressing into him, sucking on his neck lightly. "I _am_ gettin' off, Justin..." he mumbled next to Justin's ear, plastering him to the wall.

Justin whimpered, though it was in danger of being a moan, and pushed a little less lightly. "Richard... I'm serious. Stop touching me."

Richard didn't get the hint. He was too overcome with all the built-up lust and tention he'd had for Justin in the past few months that he couldn't think. "Fuck, Justin..." he murmured, and switched quickly to the other side of Justin's neck. "I want you so bad..." He was practically begging; whimpering and rubbing and all those uncontrollable and embarrassing things.

Justin was _so_ close to giving in, because he wanted RIchard too, but he knew he couldn't and he had enough self-control to manage, "Richard, stop!" and a quick, hard shove before he attempted to wiggle his way out of his trap against the wall. Richard tried to hold him, but he was too quick, so he went free. Richard stared at him for a few minutes, then remembered why he had stalked to Justin's bedroom in the first place and his nostrils flared.

"Oh Justin..." he said, shaking his head a little. "You helped Lisa and you didn't even get laid? What a schmuck."

Justin stared at him. Did he forget what had just happened or something? Then Richard's words sank in and he rubbed his throat and looked down at the ground. "She's not like that..."

"Bullshit," Richard shot back quickly, taing a step towards Justin. Justin cringed. "That chick spreads like peanut butter."

Before he could be drawn to Justin's lips anymore, Richard produced the tape from his pocket and pressed it to Justin's chest, then walked briskly to the window when Justin took it. He shoved one leg outside, then glanced back and said, "You'd be surprised what a girl without a daddy will do for a little male attention..."

All Justin could do was stare as Richard escaped into the night.


	3. Broken

Murderous Seconds  
By Dr FooFoo  
  
Part Three : Broken  
  
==  
Today I found my soul  
I felt it die inside of me  
So I turn to you  
Life is like that, you know  
- Wake For Young Souls [Third Eye Blind]  
==

I admit that I kinda feel bad that Richard fell. Not because I thought he was hot -- though I did -- but because Justin loved him so much. I'll never forget the way he looked over the edge of that balcony. He looked so... broken. As broken as Richard's body down below.

And I'll never forget the way he cried that night; silently in his cell. He stared at the stone wall for hours... I could practically see the image of Richard he was undoubtedly conjuring up in his mind. I tried to tell him to quit... to quit thinking about it, but he wouldn't even look at me.

Sometimes when I'm questioning him, he gives me a look that says he wishes he hadn't saved my life back there. It's a look of pure hatred. Then, it switched to a look of self-pity that says he wishes he'd fallen too, so he could be with Richard. But as quickly as they come, the looks disappear, replaced with his usual apathy. It almost makes me feel sad... All that emotion... All that feeling bottled up in a small, eighteen year-old boy...

Justin's the opposite of RIchard... Richard was loud and obnoxious, while Justin is quiet and keeps to himself. Yet... they're the same somehow. They both had the same interests; the same dreams and beliefs. And they both loved each other very much. I guess they're like two halves of a whole. Maybe they thought comitting a murder would bring the two halves together... Make them one. Maybe that's what that weird-looking picture was about. That thing always creeped me out...

I always wanted to believe Richard was using Justin, but I know the look they used to give each other and I know it's more than that. It's more than just a highschool crush. I guess the part that always got me was the fact that they were both so obsessed with each other, but neither of them knew...

Like I said, I feel bad about it... But I can't change the past and I can't bring Richard back. I just wish Justin would stop tearing up my heart by whispering Richard's name to the darkness in his cell at night.


	4. Hysteria

Murderous Seconds  
By Dr FooFoo

Part Four : Hysteria

==  
Now I'm crawling away  
Cause you broke my heart in two  
No, I will not forget you  
- Falling Down [Muse]  
==

I'm falling down and all I see is you. You aren't there... on the balcony. But I see you anyway. I see your face, your hair, your body, and the perfect curve of your back.

Everything is quiet and I don't make a sound. I can't, you know. I can't talk when I see you like this. Like that winter in your bedroom. You whispered my name and I couldn't say a word. I couldn't think. I can't think. You're all that's on my mind.

I'll wait for you, wherever I'm going. Whether it's at the bottom of this familiar cliff or somewhere else... I'll wait for you.

I see that slut of a cop, too. I wish I could say one last thing to her. You know what I would say? I'd say, "It's too late, because I already found what I was looking for. It wasn't you, you know." It was you, Justin. Did you know that? It was you that I was looking for. And I found you... But now I'm losing you. Or are you losing me?

I still see you, but more clearly now. You're helping her; saving her life. Why, Justin? What do you think you'll get out of it? Will _you_ beat prison? You look down now, off the edge of the cliff. You look broken -- like someone's just stabbed you in the heart. I look down too and realize why everything's so hazy... My body is laying on the rocks, gracefully sprawled; my last attempt at aesthetics.

I'm floating now; drifting upwards slowly. So agonizingly slowly. I can't remember what happened... What happened? It doesn't matter. All that matters is you. No... Don't go away, Justin... Don't leave. Not with her... I love you. I always did.

Now the world is upside down and I'm heading straight for the clouds, but I won't forget you, Justin. I can't forget you.


	5. Crackle

Murderous Seconds  
By Dr FooFoo

Part Five : Crackle

==  
You don't remember me  
But I remember you  
I lie awake and try so hard  
Not to think of you  
- Taking Over Me [Amy Lee]  
==

I couldn't stop thinking about him, even days... weeks after he... after he fell. I'd lay in my cell, sometimes on the floor staring at the ceiling, whispering his name...

I guess I always knew our love was too good to last, but I never thought it would end the way it did. I still remember seeing his broken body at the bottom of the cliff, and I still remember exactly what I was thinking. Or rather, wasn't thinking. The same phrase kept going through my head, over and over. "I can't forget you..." I couldn't shake it, and I couldn't think of anything else. I tried to stop... to quit thinking about him, but everything reminded me of him. Everything.

Lisa came to visit me sometimes, but even as she talked at me over the telephone in the visiting area, all I could imagine was Richard. She'd say my name quietly, in her subtle, patronizing tone, but all I'd hear was Richard, whispering my name like he used to, all those nights at the Bluff... Once I accidentally whispered, "Richard..." into the receiver and Lisa hung up and left.

He was taking over my mind and I couldn't stop him. I tried everything -- thought-stopping, therapy... I even got ahold of a razor and cut my arms the way I used to, but nothing worked. Every night, I felt his hands on me; sliding slowly over my body, and his silky voice whispering sweet forevers in my ear. "I won't forget you, Justin... I can't forget you."

The San Benito High-Security Prison psychiatrist felt sorry for me, I think. She really tried to help me and said she thought I'd be able to get out early, but she probably knew from the start that there was no hope for me... that I was too fargone.

I think Cassie knew that too, and I think she felt bad that she killed him... Well, she didn't really kill him, I guess... Whatever. She gave me these pitying looks when she questioned me. I hated those looks more than anything. She acted like she knew what I was going through, but she didn't. She had no idea. No one did... So that's why I cut myself up really badly one night and lay in my own blood until it was all over.

Now I'm with Richard again...


End file.
